My dad...
...he died shortly after midnight last night. He was 93 and suffered a stroke about a month ago. Recuperation just never happened. In reality, he had wanted to "be with Jesus" for a long time now. My wish is that he has found his nirvana. He worked hard...he deserves that.
I was given a number of photos and albums to go through...to find a collection with which to make a collage for the memorial service. This picture struck me somehow. Not that I would use it in the collage, but more because it feels like personal metaphor for me.
Everyone's father has an impact on their lives, in one way or another. I'm still trying to understand my relationship with my dad. He was a good provider, a hard worker, and genuinely generous. He was a caring man and I know he loved us. I was the last of five children...born to him at a time when some men are already becoming grandfathers (probably more so in previous generations than now). He was deeply dedicated to the Catholic church, to Jesus and the virgin Mary. I know there are many things I learned from him that developed my character...good things. But...we were not close in my mind and I'm not sure he ever totally understood me...yet I'm resolved to being okay with everything.
This is all still new. I have not lost anyone in my life with whom I have shared so much time. There's still a lot of processing going on. At first I wondered if I was going to miss him...then while I was out walking, I realized that there are ways in which I already do. I'm perplexed...and probably just tired right now.
I wish you well dad...and I hope that heaven is everything you always imagined it to be.
I love you.
your words touch me as always, therese, i wish you to find peacefully and with patience your way through this loss...
hugs.
Posted by: caroline | April 27, 2008 at 03:05 AM