Little rituals...
...getting dressed, making tea, perusing the garden to see what's blooming/sprouting/ripening...if experienced mindfully, how could anyone ever be bored?
I bought some new underwear a few weeks ago. I've never been much of a shopper and certainly can't wear overly feminine clothing (I just feel it looks strange on me), but sexy lingerie is an occasional indulgence. And for the most part, it IS for me...being rarely seen by anyone else (yes, these self portraits *are* an exception to the rule). It's odd, the small things that make me feel whole, but I choose to allow for who I am and not judge myself.
I like the fact that I'm getting older (in most ways I do anyway...) and that I have the option to retain my sensual, sexual nature even in the midst of shifting hormones. Not only that, I *don't* have to play at being young when I'm not, as if older women become somehow devoid of being sexually attractive. I choose to wear my age (even if I'm not always good at acting it, being prone to goofy humor and less than dignified outbursts at times) with grace and revel in my experience. I'm well acquainted with my aging body, which continues to serve me well, and I think I'd look weird (or more importantly, feel weird) were I suddenly to become wrinkle free and thin.
On a more mundane note (but somewhat related), I went to aikido practice for the first time in two weeks last night. I wasn't sure how I'd fare, being pretty worn out before stepping on the mat. But as usual, I perked up and it felt good to move. I took a lot of ukemi from throws (my favorite being the standing forward rolls) and sure that I'm going to be feeling it later today. This kind of ache, though, is a the good kind...the kind that makes me know my body is still very usable and strong. (The thought also came to me, while going up and down on the mat over and over again, that aikido must be a great weight bearing exercise and my bones will be very happy as I get older, as a result!)
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