Heyoh! Just checkin' in here. It's been nearly a week and I have all these great intentions to build this blog into something unique and interesting, that will in turn feature all my other endeavors which will, in turn, lead me on a path to a new, vibrant and lucrative livelihood and life.... And yet...oof. Instead I've felt like hiding until a feel all better, ya know??
As far as I'm aware, there are no grand astrological events (neither in the greater scheme of things nor in my personal chart) that should be causing this funkity funk I'm dealing with. Oh, it's so easy to blame something outside of myself. Anyway...been down in the mud here, grappling with my inner naysayers and de-motivators. And yet...and yet...here I still stand (or sit at the current case may be).
At aikido last Thursday, Sensei had us run through a practice test. This happened to be for a rank above mine (and I'm still unfamiliar with much of Iwama style). I wanted to walk off the mat and cry. I was all..."wha??? I don't understand...boo hoo!" And yet...I stayed. I made it through.
So, this is what I'm doing. I'm making it through...day by day. I'm making art, even if my skills are clumsy and I have to scrap stuff and start over. A little play in between helps. My garden continues to grow and bloom and delight. Today I even got a couple fermenting projects going...cabbage/dill/ginger sauerkraut and another ginger bug (this time I may try a purple shisho/strawberry soda!).
That's it...that's my check in. I am still here, trudging this path of life. It will never be perfect, but I continue to seek that which will contribute to my thriving in body, mind, spirit and heart.
the one I did NOT have to scrap