I've been sifting through my Photos archive on my computer. These are mostly dslr images, with some video and iPhone pics mixed in. The dates go back about eight years (it would be longer, except that I had a couple hard drive fails and, um, I hadn't backed up...which reminds me...).
There are a couple things that strike me. There are the California and then there are the Virginia time periods. While having gone through this exercise numerous times, there seems to be a lack of consistency with my perspective. At the moment, the light in the California images appears more...vibrant. My food photos from that time period seem richer (and that's not a fat content reference). The house I lived in there had zero obstruction of light in through the windows, save for a wispy birch out front. This may be part of what I notice as a difference, since my home photos here, whatever the subject matter, just seem...darker. But I also had a different outlook on life, at least through a couple years of those west coast images. I was more enthused about cooking (which I still love btw, just hard to get excited about almost always cooking for one) and cooked more variety over periods of time and therefore wanted to play with photographing the results. So that's one thing...the food (well, the garden and the bay and...hmmm) photos.
The second thing I noticed was the volume of self portraits I used to take. Now, the whole idea of going through my archives is to weed out redundancies and housing unnecessary amounts of files. I mention that because I never really took the time to remove the duds, so to speak. So, anyway...a shocking number of sp's. If you're anyone who has followed my Flickr over the years, you understand that I've used this particular genre of photography for introspective and personal evolution purposes (or so I rationalize). This is true. But after I moved to Virginia, that exercise has really dwindled. It's interesting to question why that is, and there are many answers. I got impatient with what it takes to make a self portrait that means something to me. I became more interested in other subject matter. I began making more physical art, which took energy and time away from actual photographic camera work. All that. But also...I think I'm still in the process of stepping into this phase of my life and I've grown to be less than confident in how I look (who I am? not sure). In addition...I'm showing my age and I'm grappling with my internal reactions to that. What exactly is this I'm feeling? Shock? Dismay? Revulsion? Fear?
Of course, in response to all of that, I decided to take a few self portraits this morning, in this house, this state, with this light...of this aging face. In some ways I feel like the past six years has aged me twice that much. I have been, often, care worn. Given I just passed a birthday and am circling ever closer to six-oh it seemed like a good time.
With all that...for whatever it's worth...