The Third Act

the snow still clings

It's about four days past the last snow fall...that light, dry, fluffy stuff.  Even though we hit near 50F yesterday, and there was a lot of melt, a cold white covering remains in the garden.  I'm not displeased...I like to think of all the deep sleep the plants are getting.  Of course, truth be told, I also think that maybe some noxious pest grubs are finding their demise as well.

Last night I sat with two friends watching the Wolf moon rise.  It was clear and cold.  We talked about what we wished to release this moon cycle.  We shared our vulnerability.  We bolstered each other in our desires for the future.  

When I went to bed, I looked out to see the shadows of bare trees against the snow, illuminated by the moon.

Below find a couple more Holga images from when the snow had freshly fallen, and a glimpse of the full moon rising taken last night with my iPhone...

 

 

 

 

swimming against the currents

These days, man.  I don't know what's going on, but boy does it feel like I'm moving through molasses.  I'm not gonna blame it on the cold, because I love the cold...or at least I think I do.  But maybe I ask too much of myself in this yet dark and frigid time.

I thought I'd change out all my chemistry in the processing kit.  When I developed this film, well, I'm not sure what went wrong.  Did the gap in the film backing let light in to cause faded areas in the scans (a common occurrence for me and I don't know how to get the film to roll on to the take up reel tight)?  Did I mix one of the solutions wrong?  Did I overfix?  Was it too cold when I shot the film outside?  Is my 20 year old Holga showing its age (does that even happen?)?  For any non-nerdish photogs reading this, please excuse the minutiae.

Perhaps this (and more) is just a reminder to take things a little slower.  Spend time planning but not necessarily doing.  Get ready for the light and energy to return. There is time.

Holga images (some better than others) on Kentmere400 from one of our recent snowy days...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday snow

The accumulation is on the lower side of the range predicted.  It's light and fluffy and has a wonderful squeak when walked upon.  I have no complaints about this little Saturday morning treat.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

just another Friday

When did I start making these weekly Instax self portraits?  It was the Friday after the election.  Ugh...that election.  Maybe my purpose with this project is to monitor my...what...sanity?  Anyway, I started it so I'll at least try to keep it going until 52 weeks have passed.  Nine down, I believe...and it's a little hard to believe!

Also...there's cake!  I never posted the Instax photos of the birthday cake I made...in its fullness and the leftovers.  Towards the end I froze a chunk.  I mean, I almost never make layer cake so it's worth saving for...when I want layer cake?

Another snow storm is in the forecast.  This one is supposed to deliver light, fluffy snow.  That's a much better scenario than the last one.  It remains to be seen just what kind of accumulation happens.

On another note...or perhaps a return to a previous note...I'm contemplating ditching all Meta products.  I'm not thrilled with the direction Mr. Z is taking it (although I can't say I'm surprised).  If so, I need to keep in contact with friends through other means...this blog (although I know it's not a give and take sort of thing and after all this time, the comments area still confuses me), Flickr, obviously, and maybe Patreon in the near future.  There's my website as well, which has been terribly neglected by me.  

Sometimes my virtual life is more overwhelming than my real life.  I don't like this...because my real life is overwhelming enough!  Over the past couple years the real world has certainly been playing a bigger part in my lived experience.  There were a few years after I moved to Virginia and was trying to find my balance (after the big changes) that the natural hermit in me really leaned into solitude.  I can't say I was entirely happy about that, but it's what I could do at the time.  That hermit part of me is still there, but it has faded into the background a bit since there is now a real life social network I belong to.  The deep need for virtual connection isn't as strong as it once was, which makes me a bit braver to let go of supporting entities which I don't think have humanity's best interest in mind. 

Stay tuned!!

 

 

 

 

icy mornings

Icy mornings generate slow starts.  At least for this aging body. 

The snow/ice that fell on Monday hasn't melted.  With daily temperatures hovering right around freezing, only the streets seem to have sloughed off their frigid coatings.

Apparently there's another small storm headed our way.  This time, though, there isn't supposed to be ice...mainly dry, fluffy snow.  We shall see.

Thankfully water is flowing with, as far as I can tell, normal pressure.  The small things (which aren't really small) make a huge difference. 

 

 

 

it's always something

At 66 years old, I'm more used to it than when younger.  Stuff happens, I deal with it.  Stuff  I'm  not used to happens and that actually becomes more normal.  Still, it can be exhausting.  The stoic, amused facade I put on doesn't always feel sustainable.  I feel the ground shifting beneath my feet and it's not as easy as before to keep my balance.  But then again, getting adequate sleep might help!

The water to my house is currently flowing again, albeit low pressure.  It felt good to take a shower this morning and have confidence in the toilet flushing as it's designed to.  I think about so many other things going on in the world...what I have to deal with is small change.  I do make the effort to keep a balanced perspective.  A naturally anxious and slightly neurodivergent brain can make it tricky, though.  A lot of self compassion is usually in order (rather than "why can't I be like other people??").

It's another cold, sunshiny day.  The snowy, icy covering on surfaces still clings.  Temperatures seem to be hovering around the freezing mark.  It's rather beautiful out.

 

 

 

 

 

isn't life interesting?!

The winter storm that went through overnight Sunday and then circled back for a bit yesterday evening, has passed.  It's a gorgeous winter wonderland outside and almost makes me giddy in its beauty.  Sure, it isn't several inches of snow, but there's good coverage and it sparkles in the morning sunshine just the same.  It would seem we came away unscathed as power stayed on.  However....however!!

It turns out the power did not stay on completely at the city's water distribution/treatment site!  Well, as it's said in popular jargon, I did not have being without water in the first week of 2025 on my bingo card!  The text messages from neighbors started going around about mid afternoon on Monday, reporting complete water outage in some parts of the city.  It was going to be an event for all of us who live within this municipality.  I followed the advice to fill my tub.  I also boiled a few gallons of water for consuming and teeth brushing.  What a curious thing to experience.  It does cause me to reflect on how soft I have become!

My first response was that sort of out of body, triggered, panic experience.  It wasn't pronounced by it it was there.  As time progressed I managed to ease myself out of that.  I did whatever I could do to deal with the situation.  I thought up strategies with long range scenarios.  Sure...I overthought it all!  But the point is, and this comes from someone who has dealt with significant anxiety disorder, I'm doing okay.  And okay is actually pretty good...for me.

Yep, life is interesting.

 

 

 

 

snow day

After 1000 days (according to local weather folk) we have ended our snow drought.  Granted, it's not a lot...maybe 3 inches...also compacted by sleet and freezing rain.  But it's cold and it's some good coverage, so I won't complain.  The freezing rain is unnerving, though, and brought down a couple large pine boughs.  Thankfully nothing was damaged, although I did move my car out of that territory just to be cautious.

Looking at the longer range forecast for January, it appears we will be staying cold for a couple weeks.  There hasn't been that long a stretch of cold for a couple years.  Sure, at times the temps would plummet, but they'd rebound in a day or two.  I'm grateful for the winter chill, for the plants that need it and also to kill off pests (maybe?).

Today is indoors, with the wood stove firing, laundry in the dryer, sourdough bread proofing and shelves (new ones downstairs) waiting to be filled in an organized way (so I can have effective work space again).

I have to admit to feeling a little off today.  I'm not sure why that is.  Perhaps it's the finality of the holiday celebrations, which include my birthday.  Although, I can't say I was that invested in frivolity this season, aside from my trip to California.  But therein, I do miss family again.  Well, I always miss them, but it's a more profound experience after having spent time with them again.

This too shall pass.

A couple Instax from this morning...

 

 

 

66 years

But I don't feel a day over 30...in my head.  My knees and back and hands and feet might beg to differ.  I'm grateful, though.  I'm relatively healthy, relatively safe and secure.  I have family I talk to regularly (and like), I have marvelous offspring who amaze me, I have friends who truly seem to like me.  I have interest in life and in my various projects.  I maintain a cautious optimism in general, despite the craziness of the world and perhaps some existential angst.

It's cold today...and I like that.  There's at least a possibility of winter precipitation, which is more than the past couple years.  I'm glad the garden is getting a good chill.  It actually feels like the designated season.

So, here I am...taken yesterday but close enough to my actual birthday.  Still trying to make the weekly Instax self portraits.  One of these days I'll put them in an album on my Flickr.

 

time flies

It was a week ago today I took this pinhole.  It was 33 years ago today I had my second baby, my son Julian.  Oof.  Where did all that time go??

 

 

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