12/04/2021
12/03/2021
slow starts
These mornings, every day a little bit less light, seem to start slowly for me. Unless I have something actually scheduled, no matter how much I may want to be up to greet the sun, the bed just keeps hugging me. Now, the routine pain I'm contending with right now probably contributes to my desire to stay still and comfortable. There's also the melancholy and loneliness that seem to be exacerbated during the holiday season (that being said, what I currently experience is more ennui and less depression). Whatever's going on, I'm able to move with it and through it. And taking my time in the morning is part of that.
Today I just sat with my tea and connected to the present. To the glowing maple out front. To the super neat new cabinet in the living room. To the small but functional kitchen in which I spend so much time. To the tchotchkes and and art work that live with me. Not thinking about anything, just taking joy and feeling gratitude.
Then...I spent several hours working on the front yard! This is the second major push to tend to the fallen leaves. Three and half miles my little tracker tells me I walked today...entirely in my own yard! All in all, it was a good day.
12/01/2021
the tree that keeps on giving
This Japanese maple...I tell you. I can easily just endlessly gaze out the window, absorbing its colors. Every day it's a bit different.
On the one hand, I'm happy there have been no hard frosts to curtail the color changes. On the other, I'd love it to get really, really cold. Snow would be a bonus.
All that being said, it's hard to not feel delight watching this show outside the front window.
11/30/2021
new view
As I come downstairs in the morning, my eyes are now greeted with spiffy new cabinetry. Oddly, when I was first getting ready to load the shelves, I thought there might not be enough room. There's plenty of room, even for new books (which is a good thing). The unit really enriches the space. This is the first major renovation type work I've had done (if you don't count painting and gardening). Now I'm ready to write up a comprehensive list for house stuff, both large and small (not that they'll all get done, but it's fun to dream).
My head and heart are in an odd place right now (which I hinted at yesterday). It's not bad, just a little energy draining. But then again, that's this time of year too. We're such a go go go culture, it helps to remember that when darkness is longer, it's only natural to slow down (everything else in nature does).
11/29/2021
almost December
The pull towards hibernation is strong. More sleep, more dreams, strange dreams. In the past I might become uncomfortable with this. Now, embracing it seems the most interesting and healthy approach.
With a sun in Capricorn I'm drawn towards productivity. With an upbringing that didn't exactly encourage whimsy nor imaginative non-work, it can be a challenge to allow for apparent idleness. But there's a lot of water in my chart as well...Scorpio moon and Cancer rising...and I seem to have the need to float along, feeling what's right at any given time. Winter is a good time for this.
11/26/2021
post Thanksgiving
It's a lovely, bright, post Thanksgiving morning. It rained a bit during the night, so the colors that remain outside are saturated and rich. The temperature isn't terribly cold, but it's not going to get warm today...I like that. The house is quiet, with a subtle glow from the sunlight creeping in (at ever increasing low angles).
I'm thankful to be here, to be in this space that's safe and nurturing. How fortunate. I'm thankful for new friends and old and neighbors who invite me to Thanksgiving dinner. I'm thankful for a healthy, happy family who may be physically distant, but remain connected in spirit. The list goes on. And while it's frustrating to still feel strands of grief and confusion, just under the surface of this blessed existence, the older I get the more I realize that's simply the human experience. Every moment offers promise...every day potential.
11/23/2021
random
A leftover picture from my trip north...playing with Ella...good memory!
And...the muscadine grape vines I grew from seed, the leaves changing color. This winter, while they're dormant I'll finally plant them in the ground.
It's a cold day. I spent a bit of time cutting up more fire wood to size. It's cozy downstairs and smells good, with cinnamon and sage in the steamer on top of the stove.
I thought about working on the leaves out front, but it's breezy again, so I figured I'll wait. They'll be there...and apologies to my neighbors because they'll be in their yards too. Although I figure we all share our leaves and pine needles this time of year!
11/22/2021
home work
I've been busy. It feels good to be getting projects accomplished around the house. The more I do, the more I seem to want to do (or maybe the more ideas I get). This time of year is naturally about nesting...getting ready to hunker down for the winter. But it's more than that for me. My roots are growing deeper, I'm desiring to make the most of what I have exactly where I am and appreciate it all.
For a quite a while, always in the back of my mind, I've wanted to move back to California. The real estate divide just keeps growing, however. That being the case, such a move isn't something that's going to happen (at least not until I'm ready to substantially downsize and when it becomes prudent to be near family). So I'm settling in for the long term, which is a weird thing to consider since I've already been here for over seven years. It all feels different than it has up till now. I feel more present with what is. There's a lot to be grateful for. There's a lot of potential for growth and joy, right here and now.
11/18/2021
National Gallery of Art
What a great resource The National Gallery of Art is. And the New Woman Behind the Camera is a fantastic exhibit. If you go, give yourself plenty of time. With at least six rooms of artwork and over 100 photographers featured, it requires a good bit of time. There are so many women who are exhibited in this show, from all over the world. It's very impressive and interesting.
One of the things I considered in choosing Richmond for my next-stage-in-life (shall we say), is its proximity to places like DC, NYC and New England. The west coast still holds a huge place in my heart and always will, but I've felt fortunate to be able to live and explore the east coast as well. Granted, my exploring has been somewhat limited, but I hope to remedy that. Seeing new things, especially unique natural environments, is creatively inspiring.
In the mean time, the next month or two is going to be centered on hunkering down and getting Baba Yaga's house in order. I'm about ready to paint the new cabinet in the living room, foundational garden work remains in progress (and will hopefully be more or less completed by the end of the year), and my creative spaces need to be reorganized and situated in a way that will be conducive to restart actual art making.
As Thanksgiving fast approaches, I have to say there's much gratitude in my heart. Family, friends, a safe and comfortable home, food to eat, soil to plant it...the list goes on. I look forward to wrapping up 2021 in the next several weeks and moving into 2022 with openness and enthusiasm.
11/16/2021
peak color
It's taken a while this year, but I think the trees have finally reached their peak autumn color. In addition, they seem richer and more vibrant (unless that's just my perception). On my drive up and back to northern VA the past few days, it was lovely to see all the trees along I95 in their fall finest! It certainly made what can be a chore of a drive much more entertaining.
As far as the trip goes, what a great time! The show reception was fun. But even better than that was time spent with friends...good conversation and connection (something I aim to create more of in my life). The New Woman Behind the Camera exhibit at the National Gallery was impressive and broad and thoroughly interesting.
Now I'm home and was back to work, starting with a few hours working in the front yard. Tomorrow I'll return to the shelving unit, sanding and painting (over the next week or so). I think I'll sleep well tonight.