The Third Act

Last day...

...of September...and my push to blog every day with a picture.  The effort was intended to get some creative juices flowing, to start the process of documenting this major transition in my life.  I don't know that I really accomplished the latter, but I did pretty well on the former.  I think there was only one day...maybe two...in which I didn't get a picture up.  And let me tell you, I've had some doozy of emotionally charged days.

So...there you go.  On to October! (but I may have a more sparce posting schedule here for a while...)

Autumn in the garden...

Despite the lack of motivation I have in general right now, the last couple days have been significantly productive.  Yesterday, I finally got through the stack of negatives (some that dated back to early 2012!) that had been sitting on my drawing table and now they're all organized and in storage boxes.  Today, I thought I'd go out front and clean out the spent borage and ended up weeding and cutting back the whole front garden.  It does look rather spiffy now, if I do say so myself, even thought it's obvious fall is here.

I love these red maples and it's a joy to work out there in their company.  They've grown so much since we put them in, what must be at least ten years ago (time flies!!).  I would guess their height around 15 or 20 feet.  For a couple years, not too much growth was evident.  But withing the last few they've really shot up.  The birch and crabapple keep them company and the house always feels very protected by the collective arboreal vibe.

And now...I'm exhausted.  I mean, really truly physicall exhausted.  Insomnia doesn't help, I'm sure.  Still, it was a very satisfying and productive day so in the end, no regrets!

Held in reserve...

After I've come back from a trip, I typically have several rolls of film to process and scan.  It's such fun and so exciting to see what I've recorded that I tend to rush to share the images online.  Now, perhaps if I understood how to truly value my work from an art perspective, I wouldn't be so generous with showing so much...but that's another story. What I really mean to express here, is that there are always a handful of images I hold in reserve.

The reasons for holding back are usually that I'm on the fence about the pictures...or not sure how to fit them in to my photostream.  That being said, there's is also the fact that saving some photos gives me wiggle room for times like these, when I'm not actively making images.  And it's true, no one is making me share my photography, but for this month at least (as I've mentioned in a few other posts) I did want to do a daily upload and a post here.  All that is a very long way of saying, "here, enjoy these images from my trip to Virginia, back in August!!"...trees from along the Potomac waterfront, the Alexandria cemetery and the ceiling of Eamonn's on King Street in Alexandria.

 

Featherhand...

...or something to that effect.  Is there a meaning? Well...no.  But I invite you to make one up!

Honestly, I'm exhausted.  It's been an incredibly emotional and difficult couple of days.  I was sitting here and remembered about making a picture...and a blog post...and I had no idea (nor inclination) of what to do.  So, I glanced at my vase full of crow (and one turkey) feathers and thought, "Huh...something about that reminds me of a hand."  And, this double exposure was born.

I'm just keeping my hat in the ring folks.  I'm waiting to tell you something significant...and it'll come...but it's still too soon.  That being said, as I mentioned at the beginning of this month, either way I'm going to document *something* every day for at least September.  October, well, that remains to be seen...

Strength...

...that which I desperately need to find

Hanging on by my fingertips

Seeking the courage to let go

Trusting the ground to yeild

and comfort my fall.

 

Going through the motions...

...otherwise known as, something is better than nothing.

I'm thankful for the double exposure feature on the Hipstamatic app...and my skeleton who graces my little room...and the picture of my grandmother, scanned and cut out, that I have pinned to my cork board.  I feel lucky if I can look around and create a little image.  It's not much, but right now it's all I got.

Things will get better...or rather they'll be different and hopefully more productive and satisfying. 

In the meantime...

 

 

 

 

Skeleton woman...

I am not ready to face you today...

Into the darkness...

It's not as ominous as it sounds...just a reference to the passing of the equinox.  We're now (in the northern hemisphere anyway) heading into the dark half of the year.  The days will gradually get shorter, the shadows longer and, for a time, the light more golden.

While these pictures only illustrate the darkness in terms of the water (they're from my August trip to VA...and, well, I'm still not in an art making frame of mind) I do so love autumn.  Every year, I believe, I wax poetic (or not so poetic) about my ardour for this season.  The colors, the tastes and smells.  It's incredibly sensual. 

Perhaps the greatest difficulty (now for a second year in a row), is that I'm unable to do proper nesting.  Autumn is that time when I want to organize and tidy, and create an environment that nurtures and nourishes during the dark days.  It's a time for taking stock and getting ready for the deep introspection of winter.  Even if I can't go all out, on account of my uncertain living situation, I do what I can.  I burn cinnamon scented candles and seasonally appropriate Japanese incense (yes, I do have a specific kind!), collect colored leaves and hang strands of orange Halloween lights.  I'll gather my books around me to study and to dream.  I'll do what it takes to tide me through these strange times...

Oh yes...

...something like this today.  A little frazzled, a little sad, experiencing the process...(on the plus side, get to see my son tonight as he returns from his island adventure!!).

 

I've been busy...

...hence, no post yesterday.  But that's not a bad thing, right?  I've had a few appointments this week, all good stuff. 

In addition...I've just been...so...so...fatigued.  It sucks...the fatigue and the pain, or maybe the fatigue because of the pain (and menopause and stress).  Ugh.  No fun.  There is SO much I want to do, but some days when the afternoon rolls around, I can't even stay awake. But...I soldier on, as they say.

I'm loving that it's fall...the equinox just upon us.  The full moon the last couple nights has been glorious.  I've sat out on my back steps and absorbed her rays.  Tonight, though, she may not be able to break through the clouds...we'll see.

Oh, and here are a couple of Instax images of Ginter Botanical Gardens in Richmond, from my last trip.  They were left unedited and come in handy now, when I'm not consistently creating anything new!