I'm not sure where to begin... It wasn't because of the company...or the kids (my offspring being adults, of course, celebrating in some fashion on their own)...or the trick or treaters...or the weather. Perhaps the loveliness came from somewhere inside of me. Which is not to say that I'm so lovely, but rather I managed to access that sweet spot deep within, that place all humans have available.
The day sort of flowed. The autumny dinner I had wanted to make fell by the wayside, and instead an ofrenda was built to my ancestors, which fed a different part of me. This was a good compromise. While I've always enjoyed the ritual of the ofrenda, the altar built to honor the dear departed, this happened to be the first year the practice became alive for me. When I got up in the morning, I didn't even think I was going to do this (I had *thought* I'd put my time into that autumny dinner mentioned above). I can't even say what one thing led to the other to make it happen. But maybe that's the best way for creativity to flow. Not maybe...I know it is. That's not to say that planning out one's creative efforts isn't of value...in fact, it's my goal to do it more. But still, when something arises of its own and the result is so very pleasing and satisfying, well, it's just the best!!
What seems to have occurred, was that while I was in the middle of putting up lights, and skeletons, and thinking about the make up I was going to apply, I took a moment to pause. I stopped to think about the day and the cultural/spiritual significance. Perhaps I just needed to feed that part of me that is continually seeking depth and connection. Then it just happened. The table was moved and pictures were resurrected from various hiding places or where they are usually displayed. Candles, lights and offerings almost arranged themselves. And in that process I thought about those who came before me, who are connected to me via blood or circumstance. I thought about my time with them and how their thumbprints remain on my being. It was a truly moving exercise.
At a time in my life that has been so fraught with anxiety and grief...times during which I have felt so utterly alone...to be able to see the connection from generation to generation, looking back but also forward, is wonderfully uplifting. In recognizing the threads within my own family and ancestors, it's not a huge leap to see how the web continues out to all life. In that, the perception of separation has less of a hold and opening to joy through connection becomes undeniable.