I've been struggling with my creative mojo...again. Since starting a new routine and allocating my morning hours to artistic work (even the mundane parts), my energy for said work as gradually diminished. Now...it's going on winter, I'm still grappling with significant personal/life issues (back burner though they may be, they remain in my consciousness), my physical pain seems to be increasing as the hours of sunlight are decreasing, plus other crap that I'm tired of reiterating. So...yeah...I'm not feeling it. That isn't to say I don't have *ideas*. I have some very specific concepts with which I want to work. The problem is...there's no core energy available for use. It's hard to be constantly dredging up a barely subsistence level flow from the reserves.
Part of the plan, from now until the Solstice, is to hunker down, stay warm, nurture and rest this exhausted self of mine. At the same time, there's this itch to do *something*. This is where instant cameras (that actually provide a physical "piece" from the get go) are such a blessing for me. I see the light, the scene and go for it. There's not a lot of thinking involved. The choices and settings on the cameras are few. At this point, the less options the better!
Turning the corner here, I'll just say...I'm doing some deep work right now. It's strange and wonderful, but scary too. This is where faith comes in. It's not faith in something outside of myself and it's not exactly faith *in* myself either. It's faith in life as it is, which I suppose actually is both inside and outside of myself. Connection, depth and clarity...simple, but not easy.
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