There are so many aspects to this transition I've been moving through, which are challenging and painful. If you've been following this blog at all you know, and it's not my intent to reiterate or make a list of what still affects me.
What I do want to express at this time, is what joy a true autumn gives me! I walk down the streets of my neighborhood, stopping to stand in awe of a Japanese maple that has more shades of orange and red in one tree than I thought possible. I often can't believe the almost neon yellow and orange of the sugar maples (I think that's what they are) or the bright gold of the hickories. I rake my driveway and get distracted by the oak leaves that look like an abstract painting. It's such a feast for my eyes and it's not uncommon for me to get chills taking it all in.
There's an aspect to this opportunity that has come to me...this transition and move...that seems to be granting a deep desire. How odd is that, to look at something that has been heartbreaking in so many ways, as simultaneously fullfilling a wish? The contradictions in life, in myself and my own emotions, perplexes me. We're all pretty complicated creatures living in an imperfect world, however, so I'm learning to allow for my own internal contradictions.
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