The Third Act

It's been a year...

I read a FB status update from 10 years ago.  I wrote something to the effect of, "not sorry to see this year end."  Funny thing...I can't remember what was so terrible about it!  Things were stable on the home front, the kids were doing well, my marriage was intact.  I guess I was referring to...menopause stuff? art struggles?  Weird.

Fast forward 10 years and while I might say something to the same effect (that I was glad the year could be put behind me), I don't feel that way at all.  There were some really significant challenges for me in 2019 and there were moments during which life felt pretty dark or nutso or something.  But the fact is I weathered those and I'm feeling more hopeful (personally anyway) and settled than I have since the BIG EVENT took place just about 8 years ago.  There are probably a number of reasons for this, but I'll just be grateful for what is at this moment.

I wish you all a very joyful, contented and creative 2020!

 

Last selfie of the year...

Home sweet home...

I had a lovely holiday visit with the family in California.  At the same time, it's so good to be home.  

I'm not getting as much today as I'd imagined, since jumping right back into east coast time.  It seems a mid-day nap was necessary.  Since it's gray and rainy out, though, I may muddle through a few of the indoor tasks I was so enthused (in my mind...before I'd left CA) about.

Of course, a little go round testing my new Lomo Instant (using wide film) couldn't be ignored!  The lens cap has a remote shutter release feature...and multiple exposures can be made as well.  So, there will be lots of experiments happening in the new year!

 

 

I had neglected to set the flash to off, so it fired at the last second as I closed the shutter.  Still...it makes for an interesting effect.

 

and soon the light returns

I enjoyed a lovely Winter Solstice evening yesterday.  Avery and I had a walk in chill air, coming home to a warm fire, twinkly lights and candles.  It was quiet and thoughtful.  Before long the light will return.  But in the mean time, I still hold out hope for a good snow here and there, while I make plans and intentions moving into the new year.

 

 

 

Winter Solstice...

It's the shortest day/longest night of the year.  The temps are chilly making it an indoor day.  I finally got to my other roll of current black and white film.  These are on Tri-X that expired in the early 2000's, if I remember correctly.  It's amazing how fine the negatives are (granted, my exposures aren't exactly spot on, but I'm okay with that right now).  Ah, and pinholes...how I love pinholes.  I may return to this love, for my 365 project in 2020.  The 365 colored pencil drawing project is wrapping up and I'm thinking ahead to more photo based dailies.  Still, the drawings are fun and I'll probably not abandon them completely...it's been a very enriching exercise.

Tomorrow will entail some battening down of hatches...a little cleaning and remaining leaf pick up.  And then Monday, I'll be winging my way to California for the holidays (I think I have enough film, but tend to not use my cameras as much as anticipated when I'm out visiting anyway).  

Today, though, it's a nice, quiet vibe with the scent of evergreen wafting through the house.  I'm grateful for the year coming to a close, for soon to be family communing and the delight of a new year on the horizon.  If I'm not back "here" until my return from the west, do have a wonderful holiday season full of love and joy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...

It's been an interesting year.  Well, I suppose if paid attention to, any year would prove of interest.  Now that 2019 coming to a close, I welcome the holidays and the energy of the new year.  I'm finding my solitude helpful in efforts toward introspection.  Being present to current circumstances (in my own life and space, that is...I'll not go into anything more global than that...oy) is bringing a better appreciation to my own potential and worth.  Of course, this process is not entirely linear and I accept that.

I spent a fair bit of time reviewing my Flickr photostream a couple nights ago.  There's been an idea in my head that my previous life (i.e. in California and before divorce) was more colorful, artful, worthwhile and meaningful, and that that showed in my images.  But taking the time to connect with what I've recorded over the past five plus years, I'm understanding that notion isn't correct.  In fact, I'm seeing an equal and perhaps more creative expression of all those qualities.

It's an old yarn this one...what has been this long, drawn out process of healing and reinvention.  But it's changing in more noticeable ways.  Have I reached that tipping point?  I don't know.  There will always be scars from old wounds, but perhaps they're finally morphing into something more useful and even lovely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

a little bit of Christmas

I'm happy to have a small tree up, lights strewn around the house and a fire in the wood stove.  It's a gray, wet, chilly December day.  In an hour and half I have an errand to run and a short dog walking gig.  After that it'll be back for a hermit like afternoon.  There are always things to do inside, especially this time of year.  I'm grateful for this cozy home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

home is where the Holga is...

...or something like that.

Kodak Tri-X pan, expired 1991, processed in Ilfosol 3.  I'm pretty sure all of these are bulb setting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

home...

It's where I always return.  It's what sustains and nourishes me.  Probably 75% of my artwork revolves around home.  The light that filters in, the life that is lived, my spirit that is enriched...it centers on home.  Home is a work of art...the walls and the garden and the cups and glasses in the cabinet all express my creative energy.  It's not fancy, but it's me.