The Third Act

apple adventure

I was thinking about apple sauce yesterday.  And I was thinking about apple pie.  The bowl of apples sitting on my butcher block was looking rather sad.  More apples were required and instead of opting for the easy solution (it's not like I couldn't find something suitable nearby) I gathered enough momentum to get myself out of the house, for a drive to Charlottesville area.  Seeing a little fall color and venturing out of my immediate area seemed...healthy.

First, after checking the orchard's website, I learned I needed a ticket to get in.  At least Monday through Friday the tickets are free.  I appreciate them being COVID sensitive.  Still, I figured it was a Tuesday mid-day and hardly anyone would be there.  Wrong!!  The parking area was at least two-thirds full (and it holds a lot of cars).  What were all these people doing at an apple orchard on a weekday?  Yeah, sure, I could ask myself the same question...

Anyway, after procuring three different varieties of apples, I stowed them in my car and took my instant cameras for a spin.  While I had also loaded the Zero and the Holga with color film, I decided to stick with the instant format and used up two packs of film.  After all that, I headed home.

Here's a weird tidbit...  As I was heading out highway 64 towards the orchard, I started to feel panicky.  My body was feeling kind of weird and the sensations of a panic attack seemed to be building.  Ugh.  Somehow, I was able to override the anxiety response (I definitely didn't want to feel like I was going to pass out while driving at 70mph).  Now, what the anxiety was in response to, I'm not exactly sure.  I don't really enjoy going for long rides alone.  It could be that taking a drive in that way sort of exacerbated my feelings of isolation (odd, I know).  There's an emotional and psychic fatigue that the majority of us are dealing with, which was most likely part of this particular scenario as well.

I have to say, though, I did okay.  Usually I do okay.  I guess I'm kind of strong...sort of resilient.  But I'm a little tired of having my deep emotion switch flipped so often as is occurring at this time.  

 

 

 

'RoidWeek 2020 carries on...

It's day three today of 'RoidWeek2020 (a celebration of instant photography) at Flickr.  Yesterday I was delighted to be featured, along with a few other instant photography practitioners, on the Flickr Blog .  Flickr remains one of my favorite online communities.  I'm coming up on my 16 year Flickrversary in November.  Crazy.  A lot has changed.  My love for photography has only grown...although you won't necessarily see it in how many cameras I own or even how much work I produce.  It's there, though...and is a daily practice in one way or another.  

 

 

 

Dawn's ducks...

I love my neighborhood and the people in it.  Dawn is my neighbor...she's an artist and a Renaissance woman, as far as I'm concerned.  Extreme can-do spirit here.  She has chickens and recently acquired a couple ducks.  We visited for a while on her studio door  yesterday afternoon.  The ducks came over to listened to our conversation (or so it seemed) all the while entertaining us with their preening and then settling down for a nap.

 

 

 

early Sunday morning

Off to an early start for 'Roidweek 2020 . 

I was so exhausted after working yesterday.  I came home and walked Avery, chatted on Skype with family for about 45 minutes, had leftovers for dinner, then watched some video...and by 7:30pm I was already dozing off.  So, I get into bed by 8:30 and am asleep (I guess) in not too long.  Of course...I'm awake at 4am this morning.  

It's all okay, though.  The morning is chilly so the wood stove is keeping us cozy.  It's a quiet time to think and write...and get my post (and instant photos) done for the day.  What will comprise the rest of Sunday remains to be seen.  Maybe a little time in the garden.  Maybe a little work.  Maybe an art journal page or two.  Or maybe I'll just do nothing except get Avery out for a long walk by the river.

 

 

busy Saturday...

So busy, in fact, that I'm sharing a couple of Instax Mini films from yesterday.

Whew...7:30am to about 4pm, then walk the dog, then Skype with family.  Finally now getting a chance to post and say...hello, y'all.

Thank goodness for leftovers for dinner.

 

 

big red oak

I had the big red oak that lives at the front corner of my property trimmed today.  The garden can always use more light, plus there was dead wood that needed to be tended to.  Even on this dark, wet day I can sense the extra light that's coming in.  It's all a matter of degree, of course.  I do miss unobstructed light...but we work with what we have, no?

And speaking of light.  Ugh.  I was using all my different instant cameras (with Instax film) to photograph the tree...and was totally bombing on the exposures.  So...much...wasted...film.  I was very spoiled with my Spectra, which did a phenomenal job at auto adjusting for light (not to mention that luscious, flexible, Polaroid film of the past).  sigh  I don't know...I'm bummed now.  I'm either missing the light I used to have to work with (and by extension, the "rosy" days gone by)...or I'm thinking I've completely lost my photographic skill.  Maybe it's just the grayness of the day and a couple recent stressful weeks that's getting to me at the moment.

But I love this tree...and it's quite a wonder...

 

 

 

 

 

Why, yes...

...I do have more than one seasonal Halloween mug!

The past couple weeks have been kicking my butt...oy.  I needed a little bit more of a sense of calm, so I switched out the screaming lady monster mug for a sweet little owl (sitting on a jack-o-lantern, no less).  Sure, the contents still contain caffeine, but it's the morning after all.

It's a beautiful autumn morning.  The sun is shining brightly and the air still relatively cool.  I need to bring in some firewood before the rains come tomorrow.  I'll be set for the weekend, which may get down to the upper 30's at night.

In the mean time, have a lovely Thursday...

 

mid-week stream of consciousness

You mean you're actually here reading this with a title like that?  Well, thank you...

I actually slept fairly well last night.  Awoke early, checked the weather, checked the Twitterverse (for better or for worse).  It was still dark when I let Avery out to do her thing (bark bark bark...).  I accidentally left my Halloween lights on all night...when I woke I saw some flashing on the front room blinds and realized later it was not, in fact, an ambulance across the street (which happens on occasion).  Into the shower, mind consumed by a variety of subjects...art (there's always some art stuff in there, creative ideas seem to be part of morning showers) and personal and global concerns (that's the other thing that arises stepping into steamy hot water...worries and grief).  Dressed and downstairs and time for tea.  While the pot brews, better write up a list...there's too much to try to keep in my head without some reinforcement.  It's another busy work week...stressful to a degree, but hey, it's bringing in some cash.  Waiting for the caffeine to kick in...it helps with the sadness.  I'm so used to sadness and underlying anxiety (pandemic, you're not helping)...I'd like to change that...working on it .  I don't know what I had imagined my life would be like at 61...well, I never thought that far in advance.  But if I had imagined that, it wouldn't have been this...not exactly anyway.  It's a process of continual paying attention, adjusting here and there, finding joy where it arises, always finding beauty (that's the only thing that's not that hard...I thank this existence for its beauty).  The weather ahead for Wednesday looks to be lovely...two days of sunshine, then more rain and then cold (maybe I'll finally fire up the wood stove this weekend).  Hump day, y'all...have a good one!

(p.s. I promise when this work push isn't consuming my attention so much, there will be more interesting photos)

 

 

wash/rinse/repeat

It's a marathon, ain't it folks??

 

 

sign of the times

It's autumn...it's an election year...it's wet and misty.  The front port expresses so much.

I was thinking this morning about how long it's been since I've been with my family.  About twice a year, sometimes three times depending, I travel to see my kids, my sister and brother in law, and some friends out in the SF bay area.  I visit the Pacific as well, breathing in its salty, fennel scented air.  The boost it gives my heart and spirit I can't even express.  Since COVID, of course, elective travel isn't wise.  So, the last I saw my family was at Christmas 2019, with prospective travel dates in the future highly uncertain.  I'll be here in Richmond for the holidays...all the holidays.  All sorts of self talk is going on in my head, making it okay, being pragmatic and finding whatever silver linings may exist.  But I tell you...it's not easy.  Most of the time I just pull my thoughts back to the present and avoid thinking of how much I miss everyone.

I know I'm not alone in this predicament...certainly, another sign of the times.