Wow, life sure does zip by, doesn't it? And disturbingly, it seems to go even faster the older I get. I know most of us experience this, but that doesn't mean it ceases to trip out my head at times.
In my mind I'm still, well, probably not quite even an adult. That makes it weird to note that my children are now in or near their 30s. I'm the elder generation. No more aunts and uncles...I am the aunt. No parents. Siblings and cousins, though, are all older than me.
While I might long for times of the past, for situations of the past, I don't necessarily long for youth. Despite its often goofy conditions, post menopause suits me fine. I still explore for depth and self understanding, which will be a lifelong pursuit. Just because I'm older doesn't make me wise. Being older, however, does offer me a greater breadth of life experience...and hopefully a more compassionate perspective. I continue to become more comfortable in my own skin, so to speak. I seek other's approval less (although I often wonder if I'm actually likable or lovable) because in the end, I need to be the best of who I actually am, rather than anyone else's desired version of me. Living alone makes that last bit easier I suppose.
When I was a teenager, I used to think about the turn of the century...that is the 20th to the 21st. I remember thinking, "Wow...I'll be in my 40s!!" I honestly couldn't even conceive of being that old. And now, here I am, 20 years beyond that transition. Isn't life fascinating??