It's the last Monday in March. 1/4 of 2021 already. Sprouts and blossoms are pushing forth. Waiting for myself to blossom...and uncertain of when, or even what exactly that means.
As my isolation continues (another month or two?), it's challenging to present a "happy" face. For me, that means just no face...easier to show the garden, or food. That's the deal with online sharing, isn't it? We never know the whole story unless we actually know the person presenting themselves. This isn't a new revelation. While I don't aim to show unrealistic or fantasy contexts of my experience, I do tend to focus on the positive. But in the background, there's a part of me that's just tired, lonely, full of self doubt. Is this based on fact? Intellectually I can talk myself out of bleak places, but the emotions can be quite tenacious.
Make art...that usually helps. The sun is shining today...that helps too. And of course, lots and lots of birdsong.
Making art definitely helps. The hard part for me is letting go of whether the things I make are "good" or "bad". I think a lot of that mindset comes from being online and looking for that instant feedback in likes and comments. The more I make offline, the better I feel.
Posted by: Ptaillon | 03/29/2021 at 11:24 AM