The Third Act

puzzle

Last night I finished a 1000 piece puzzle of moonrise over the San Francisco Bay.  I don't even remember when I started.  In the beginning it was fairly easy, but as time went on it became more challenging.  The last third or so of the task was comprised of pieces with no discerning marks and several gradations of the color blue!  Honestly, I wasn't sure if I had the patience to carry on.

After a while, I realized I had to prioritize using different identifying features than I had been.  I had to look for shapes, sometimes with frustratingly similar appearance.  Even when I got to the last several pieces, I was sure there must be a piece missing, or duplicates of pieces included.  So it was a big hurrah to myself when I finally fit that last piece in!

I look for metaphor in most things, which means my view of this entertaining activity has to be telling me about something, no?  Tenacity?  Creative thinking?  Using parts of my brain I usually don't?  Or...it was just a fun thing to do!

It was nice to see the finished result.  It's a lovely picture of the Bay at moonrise.  My hug got a little tugged on seeing it.  Sure, there are rose colored glasses I wear concerning the San Francisco bay area and northern California.  That place will always feel magical to me in one way or another.  I'm lucky to have lived there and to get to visit (which, whenever I finally can get vaccinated, I'll be planning!).

 

 

 

 

the sun returns

The severe storms forecast for Thursday thankfully didn't materialize.  There was just a touch of a thunderstorm...just enough to be pleasant...and some heavy downpours yesterday.  At about 1:30am today the power went off; it wasn't even storming then.  I didn't get much sleep after that.  By the time I finally did get up the power had come back on...hurrah!  By late this morning, all the remnants of the storms had passed.  Although it's a bit blustery and cold, the sun has come back to shine.  It looks glorious outside.

I talked to one of my brothers this morning.  He lives in Wyoming and calls routinely.  His son and fiance are out visiting him.  He relayed the news that our family now has a date for the next wedding.  It'll be mid '22 in Cleveland.  I'm looking forward to another family celebration and seeing some place I've never been.  No question, I'm excited!

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. To be honest, it's a subject I frequently mull over in my head (and feel in my heart).  I love relationships and learning about the various dynamics people experience and how they make it work.  Even though I no longer live in such a circumstance and sometimes still feel melancholy at the dissolution of my marriage, I'm very grateful to have lived in that commitment.  I'm grateful as well, that that relationship remains close, even if the situation has changed.  It's taken me a while to embrace the friendship more fully, and slowly release the hurt, because if I'm honest it has been good for both of us to experience our mature adult lives apart.  

My experiences are part of me.  They live within.  Nothing is ever truly gone or lost, if I choose to see it as a gift.  I feel fortunate to have lived the life I have and look forward to keep adding new layers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

in the kitchen

Gray skies and damp weather are conducive to kitchen projects.  Yesterday it was setting up a couple jars of lacto fermenting carrots/daikon (with wild garlic from the garden) and today I'm making candied orange peel.

Now, candied orange peel I typically associate with the winter and winter holidays.  But I never got around to it during the Christmas season because it's a hassle trying to dry foods (which the candied peel require) when it's cool.  Sure, I could do it in the oven but that's neither efficient nor ideal.  One of my gifts for the holiday was a food dehydrator, which is actually ideal for this situation.  Still, it's taken me a couple months since getting the appliance to actually do anything with it.  Better late than never!

There was leftover syrup from boiling the peels.  I added the juice of a few blood oranges, plus a little more dry sugar, left from coating the peel.  I boiled all that down for a bit and now I have a lovely blood orange syrup (another project that I kept meaning to do but never got around to).

Once again, my creative energy is going into the easy, non thinking projects rather than art.  I suppose I should stop whining about that, huh?  I mean, there's still good that comes out of the efforts.

Speaking of art, I came across a book on Remedios Varo who's artwork I love.  I ordered it and can't wait to have it delivered.  Inspiration!!

 

 

 

tarot

Yesterday I started a new online tarot class taught by my friend Rebecca .  I've used tarot more or else regularly for the past decade or so, but it has never quite clicked as I'd like.  The way Rebecca teaches it, however, really resonates with me.  I think this will be a wonderful way to make the practice more approachable for my desires (that is, as another tool for introspection and self understanding).

In other news, it's been gray and chilly again today.  I finally dragged myself out to do some shopping, since I'd been putting it off day after day on account of my gardening efforts.  So I hit Lowe's (for bedding mix, potting mix and bird food...oh, and a flat of pansies); Good Foods grocery for honey, whole wheat flour, buckwheat flour and flax seeds; and finally Trader Joe's for general grocery shopping.  I feel well stocked again.

After my shopping adventure I would have preferred to take a nap, but there were a couple kitchen projects I wanted to do.  There was a random assortment of tired carrots and a daikon radish in the veggie bin that seemed good candidates for a pickle/ferment.  To make it more interesting, I dug up some of the wild garlic in my garden to add to the pickle.  That's sitting on the counter now, all pretty in its multi colored goodness.  It was time to make another batch of pickled beets as well (not a lacto ferment, just made with your average, yummy vinegar brine), so I managed to accomplish that.

Thankfully there's soup already made that just needs heating up for dinner.  Although I felt draggy all the day, I still managed to get tasks done.  Now I need to start prioritizing art making!

 

dreams

First off, I've not posted in a few days because all my energy has been going into garden prep.  It's still too early to plant anything out, although I did get some poppy, buckwheat and pea seeds in (all which do okay when it's still relatively cold).  I've been out in the garden four or five days in a row, averaging three or four hours a day.  Invasives have been dug out, leaves shredded and deposited as edge mulch, and wheel barrow after wheel barrow of compost placed where beds will be (and on fruiting plants).  Since our dry spell was coming to an end, I wanted to get ahead of the curve with this prep.  With most of the hard labor finished, I can look forward to the fun stuff...planting!  It might be a few weeks before temps remain in a good range at night, but I'm glad to return to other things for a while before spring gardening really takes off.

What does all that have to do with dreams?  Maybe nothing.  Then again, I had a doozy of a dream last night (I mean, I regularly have vivid and weird dreams, but this one was actually kind of fun) and wondered if all my physical labor and digging in the dirt had something to do with it.  In addition, I've been pretty consistent about using mugwort infused oil on my sore back, hands, knees and also on my belly (which isn't necessarily sore) before bed.  Mugwort is known as a dream herb, so...who knows?

This dream had a lot of parts and pieces, and is difficult to describe chronologically.  So, let me just tell you the interesting parts....

There was a part about visiting with family and having a meal out with friends...what joy!

There was a weird part about grocery shopping.  Okay, the detail in this part is funny...I had to climb up on a ladder to find the Orowheat Wheatberry bread and while I was up on the ladder I saw another woman up on a ladder looking for a different product.  She proceeded to ask me if I knew where her friend with a family of six could stay for a while.  It felt like a scam, so I said no.  Then another shopper asked me the same thing later.  What was that about?  That was the only part of the dream that felt uncomfortable, like I was being set up.  Back to the shopping...the other items I tried to find were ice cream sandwiches and fudgesicles...and plants!  But the time I was ready to pay for my purchases, the line was so long I just left without my groceries.

Then there was visiting an old Polish village, with little cottages that had been abandoned.  Someone was fixing them up to sell.  While the renovations were really nice, the cottages sort of lost their character.  I went back to one I'd visited earlier and all the old, dusty books were gone which was a bit disappointing.

But the most fun part of the dream came after visiting the village.  It became winter at twilight and there was snow all over which made it quite magical.  A procession of some sort was happening with horses and wagons and people parading down the street.  Suddenly I decided I wanted to fly and I took off like a super hero, shot straight up into a cobalt blue winter sky.  I could feel the cold wind on my face...a freedom of spirit.  Many times in flying dreams I have a hard time keeping myself aloft, especially if I'm in a lucid state.  This dream was only partly lucid...I knew I was dreaming but wasn't inclined to control the direction of the dream and it surprised me how strong I flew.  I was going very fast, wondering just how high and far I would go.  It was exhilarating!  At some point I landed.  The whole experience was very cool.  I'd take more of those dreams any time!

I would like to pay more attention to my dreams again.  It's not that they're not happening, or even that they're not interesting, I just don't have the attention span to work on the recall.  It might be a good thing to do again.

 

looking out on Friday morning

The sun really hasn't come out today...not much.  But the temperature has been pleasant and in fact the lack of direct sun, better for working in the garden.

It's interesting how I might make up a plan for gardening before I head out, which invariably gets sidetracked.  Today I had intended to focus on one area, raking out the leaves, crushing them up and putting the results back down as edging mulch.  But then I saw that the two gooseberry twigs I stuck in a pot with soil were leafing out.  Before anything else I wanted to find a spot, dig holes, put in some rotten wood and compost and plant the gooseberry starts.  Then I got going with the compost, feeding all the plants along the front of the house.  After that I figured I'd feed the plants in the beds along the driveway...cherry, apricot and a few other random berry plants.  But while I was putting that compost down I decided to dig out (as much as possible) the sassafras and trumpet vines that invade that bed before they start growing again...which took a while. When I went over to the other side of the driveway, I decided to tackle the liriope (why oh why do people plant this??) that's been gradually spreading in an inopportune spot.

By the time all that had been done, it was starting to sprinkle and I needed some lunch.  Avery and I then had a lovely little walk, stopping to talk to another neighbor who was out working in her garden.  I'm pleased to see so many other gardeners in the neighborhood!

Now it's 4pm and I'm going to do inside work.  My tasks didn't go as planned, but they went well regardless.  I like letting the garden guide me, especially when there's so much to be done that deciding where to start can be daunting.  Tomorrow's another day.

 

 

the daffodils are popping!

After a week of sunshine and gradually climbing temperatures (they'll drop again, but I'm sure enjoying it now) all the naturalized daffodils in my yards are blooming.  They're such happy little flowers!!

A little at a time I'm tackling the invasive weeds and mulling over the garden plan for this year.  My knees are being fussy, as well as my back, so efforts outside are timed appropriately.  It's nice to be in the sunshine, though, especially in short sleeves (and no mosquitoes as yet!).  I'm excited for this year's planting.

 

 

warmth

I was immersing myself in spring like warmth today.  The rest of the week and into the weekend are forecast to be sunny, before a little more rain comes our way.  I'll soak up as much of this as I can before another cool down.  It wasn't until I moved to the east coast that I truly began to appreciate spring!

 

 

 

 

spring is in the air

What a glorious day, spent outside working in the garden and helping out a friend.  Avery certainly enjoyed our afternoon walk, as did I.  The doors and windows are wide open and there's just about constant birdsong of one variety or another.

The rest of the week looks to be just as lovely, so I'm hoping to make more garden headway.

 

 

the best therapy

Well, I'm not sure it's the best, but it's the most readily available.  I'm referring to the garden.  It's the easiest activity to bring me into the moment, to practice awareness, and to feel a sense of purpose.

Sometimes I think I use the garden as a way out of making art...that is, I make it a priority.  Maybe that's okay.  Maybe the garden is more of a priority for me than making art.  That being said, the two are intertwined.  When I consider how much of my photography and other visual art is based on the life of the garden, it's really impossible to separate the two.  Once in a while I think that maybe I would produce more art, if I didn't have the responsibility of my garden.  But then I realize that the majority of my visual material is right outside my door step (and not only for artwork but for food and medicine and other creative pursuits as well).  It's all wrapped up together, and I rather like it that way.