Are half hearted attempts worth the effort? I think looking at it as a half hearted attempt probably isn't the most useful perspective. I think I'd rather frame it as a "priming the pump" sort of deal. Of course, it seems as though I've been priming the pump for years!
Certainly the last year and a half have been weird. There are folks who (if one would believe the stories) found a way to really dig into their creative forms. For me, though? It was a lot harder. Too much of a sense of uncertainty, loneliness and instability really sucks any inspiration out of me.
But now...things are getting better, right? Still, there's a lingering something, something. I can't even put my finger on it. It's like a very long, slow, waking up...and I'm stiff and not sure how I feel about this "day" yet. This is compounded by the big everything else I've been grappling with for several years!
There is, however, paper coated with sensitizer, there's film, there's my dslr and my little bloggie for video...and, needless to say, there's my iPhone. There is also paper and paint and glue and wax. The tools and materials are at my disposal when the inspiration and energy rise to the surface. I can't keep nagging myself for how I think I should be and simply work with how I am in this moment.
My life isn't only my art life, but all those other messy parts and pieces that anyone deals with...and they're all interconnected. So I try to make things easy on myself in the sense of supporting all the parts of myself that need support...I take care of my health, both mental and physical, I reach out to others relationally, I spend time in the garden (which is a bit heat stressed and tired right now, poor thing) and in nature. I work a lot on my emotional well being right now, which is trickier than anything else and actually takes a lot of dedication and energy. Deep breaths, stretching, rest, water...you know the drill.
I hope you are taking care of you as well.
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