The Third Act

new view

As I come downstairs in the morning, my eyes are now greeted with spiffy new cabinetry.  Oddly, when I was first getting ready to load the shelves, I thought there might not be enough room.  There's plenty of room, even for new books (which is a good thing).  The unit really enriches the space.  This is the first major renovation type work I've had done (if you don't count painting and gardening).  Now I'm ready to write up a comprehensive list for house stuff, both large and small (not that they'll all get done, but it's fun to dream).

My head and heart are in an odd place right now (which I hinted at yesterday).  It's not bad, just a little energy draining.  But then again, that's this time of year too.  We're such a go go go culture, it helps to remember that when darkness is longer, it's only natural to slow down (everything else in nature does).

 

 

 

 

almost December

The pull towards hibernation is strong.  More sleep, more dreams, strange dreams.  In the past I might become uncomfortable with this.  Now, embracing it seems the most interesting and healthy approach.  

With a sun in Capricorn I'm drawn towards productivity.  With an upbringing that didn't exactly encourage whimsy nor imaginative non-work, it can be a challenge to allow for apparent idleness.  But there's a lot of water in my chart as well...Scorpio moon and Cancer rising...and I seem to have the need to float along, feeling what's right at any given time.  Winter is a good time for this.

 

 

 

 

post Thanksgiving

It's a lovely, bright, post Thanksgiving morning.  It rained a bit during the night, so the colors that remain outside are saturated and rich.  The temperature isn't terribly cold, but it's not going to get warm today...I like that.  The house is quiet, with a subtle glow from the sunlight creeping in (at ever increasing low angles).

I'm thankful to be here, to be in this space that's safe and nurturing.  How fortunate.  I'm thankful for new friends and old and neighbors who invite me to Thanksgiving dinner.  I'm thankful for a healthy, happy family who may be physically distant, but remain connected in spirit.  The list goes on.  And while it's frustrating to still feel strands of grief and confusion, just under the surface of this blessed existence, the older I get the more I realize that's simply the human experience.  Every moment offers promise...every day potential.  

 

 

 

 

random

A leftover picture from my trip north...playing with Ella...good memory!

And...the muscadine grape vines I grew from seed, the leaves changing color.  This winter, while they're dormant I'll finally plant them in the ground.

It's a cold day.  I spent a bit of time cutting up more fire wood to size.  It's cozy downstairs and smells good, with cinnamon and sage in the steamer on top of the stove.

I thought about working on the leaves out front, but it's breezy again, so I figured I'll wait.  They'll be there...and apologies to my neighbors because they'll be in their yards too.  Although I figure we all share our leaves and pine needles this time of year!

 

 

 

home work

I've been busy.  It feels good to be getting projects accomplished around the house.  The more I do, the more I seem to want to do (or maybe the more ideas I get).  This time of year is naturally about nesting...getting ready to hunker down for the winter.  But it's more than that for me.  My roots are growing deeper, I'm desiring to make the most of what I have exactly where I am and appreciate it all.  

For a quite a while, always in the back of my mind, I've wanted to move back to California.  The real estate divide just keeps growing, however.  That being the case, such a move isn't something that's going to happen (at least not until I'm ready to substantially downsize and when it becomes prudent to be near family).  So I'm settling in for the long term, which is a weird thing to consider since I've already been here for over seven years.  It all feels different than it has up till now.  I feel more present with what is.  There's a lot to be grateful for.  There's a lot of potential for growth and joy, right here and now.

 

 

 

 

National Gallery of Art

What a great resource The National Gallery of Art is.  And the New Woman Behind the Camera is a fantastic exhibit.  If you go, give yourself plenty of time.  With at least six rooms of artwork and over 100 photographers featured, it requires a good bit of time.  There are so many women who are exhibited in this show, from all over the world.  It's very impressive and interesting.

One of the things I considered in choosing Richmond for my next-stage-in-life (shall we say), is its proximity to places like DC, NYC and New England.  The west coast still holds a huge place in my heart and always will, but I've felt fortunate to be able to live and explore the east coast as well.  Granted, my exploring has been somewhat limited, but I hope to remedy that.  Seeing new things, especially unique natural environments, is creatively inspiring.

In the mean time, the next month or two is going to be centered on hunkering down and getting Baba Yaga's house in order.  I'm about ready to paint the new cabinet in the living room, foundational garden work remains in progress (and will hopefully be more or less completed by the end of the year), and my creative spaces need to be reorganized and situated in a way that will be conducive to restart actual art making.

As Thanksgiving fast approaches, I have to say there's much gratitude in my heart.  Family, friends, a safe and comfortable home, food to eat, soil to plant it...the list goes on.  I look forward to wrapping up 2021 in the next several weeks and moving into 2022 with openness and enthusiasm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

peak color

It's taken a while this year, but I think the trees have finally reached their peak autumn color.  In addition, they seem richer and more vibrant (unless that's just my perception).  On my drive up and back to northern VA the past few days, it was lovely to see all the trees along I95 in their fall finest!  It certainly made what can be a chore of a drive much more entertaining.

As far as the trip goes, what a great time!  The show reception was fun.  But even better than that was time spent with friends...good conversation and connection (something I aim to create more of in my life). The New Woman Behind the Camera exhibit at the National Gallery was impressive and broad and thoroughly interesting.

Now I'm home and was back to work, starting with a few hours working in the front yard.  Tomorrow I'll return to the shelving unit, sanding and painting (over the next week or so).  I think I'll sleep well tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

light

I used to make a lot of pictures like this...in my old house.  There was always a time during the day in which the sunlight streamed in unencumbered.  Depending on what was on hand...fruit or vegetables or a steaming mug of tea...it got placed right in the path of the of the rays for the camera.  Maybe it's because there's less of a window (haha, no pun intended) to catch the light in this house, but I don't often find the opportunity to make such images.  But I did today...and it reminded me, of me (if that makes any sense at all).

 

 

 

outside the window

The world turns golden outside the window

Leaves falling from the trees

Like clothes shed to the floor with a sigh

Ready to take refuge in their roots

Keeping company with mycelium and insects and underground critters

Recovering in slumber from another strenuous year

 

 

 

 

courage or curiosity?

I'm trying to determine if I've lost access to courage...or curiosity.  I can be brave in the face of things I have to do for my well being, even if they scare me.  But lately I'm noticing a hesitancy to do things that I might mess up...where I might make mistakes.  When I first moved out on my own, that big life change, it seemed like I was more willing to simply forge ahead in a variety of new endeavors.  Maybe there was some excitement or enthusiasm, partially due to an intuitive emotional rallying to rise above my heartache.

Several years on, though, it feels as if I've developed a complacency.  What's that about?  I've gone through the battery of diagnostics that indicates I'm healthy, so let me cross that worry off my list of worries.  Sure, there are aches and pains, but nothing that has up to this time prevented me from accomplishing the tasks that I set for myself.  I wonder if I'm just not brave any more.  Then I think, no, this isn't about courage, this is about connecting with my curiosity again...seeing with new eyes and a light heart.  Oh, that Capricorn sun you know, it can be so darn serious about things!