I'm trying to determine if I've lost access to courage...or curiosity. I can be brave in the face of things I have to do for my well being, even if they scare me. But lately I'm noticing a hesitancy to do things that I might mess up...where I might make mistakes. When I first moved out on my own, that big life change, it seemed like I was more willing to simply forge ahead in a variety of new endeavors. Maybe there was some excitement or enthusiasm, partially due to an intuitive emotional rallying to rise above my heartache.
Several years on, though, it feels as if I've developed a complacency. What's that about? I've gone through the battery of diagnostics that indicates I'm healthy, so let me cross that worry off my list of worries. Sure, there are aches and pains, but nothing that has up to this time prevented me from accomplishing the tasks that I set for myself. I wonder if I'm just not brave any more. Then I think, no, this isn't about courage, this is about connecting with my curiosity again...seeing with new eyes and a light heart. Oh, that Capricorn sun you know, it can be so darn serious about things!
Comments