how to create a new life on your own...

Accept that it may take time...as in years.  To be able to acknowledge your own process is critical.  Find the balance between letting yourself grieve for any loss and being proactive about moving forward.

Take care of your health.  Don't put off getting a good assessment, particularly if you deal with health anxiety.  I put off certain things for a long time, out of fear.  Fortunately, all turned out well, but I could have saved the energy of worry and put it to better use.

Eat well and move your body.  Accept that there are times when neither will be attainable, but both are important to feel well both physically and mentally.  Enjoy your food, take pleasure in cooking and growing some of your own produce if possible.  There's nothing quite like the satisfaction of eating something you've grown.  

Find a good mental health therapist and consider medication if you feel you need it.  There's no shame in either of these as an assist.  I found both necessary.  

If you're starting some place new, see if you can find your special community.  It's important to be active with those in your neighborhood and city, even if the only common ground is concern and care for where you live.  But it's also important to find kindred spirits.  It has taken me many years to just scratch the surface of the latter, and it makes a difference.

Also, if you're starting some place new, be a tourist and note what's special about your new environment.  I've loved getting to know Virginia and the east coast.  I adore the four seasons (although summer can sometimes be tough).

Create, create, create, in whatever way suits you.  Make your home feel like a place that nurtures your spirit.  Enjoy being able to build an ambiance without the concern for what anyone else thinks.  I finally had the option to paint some of my walls red.  I can burn sage and resins as much as I like.  I can watch weird movies and TV, and play music as strange as I like.  More often than not, I can allow my home to be perfectly quiet, with only the sound of the birds in the trees.

There are new things that I discover every day, that help me to continue to build this new life.  There are also times when my sense of longing and loss can come to the surface in profound ways.  But like an old injury that might cause discomfort when conditions are just right, old emotional injuries are the same and simply need time and care to feel better.

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Ptaillon]

Sound advice and great post. I hope those that need to, find it.