The Third Act

What am I thinking?

I'm mid-way (or less) through major garden revamp.  To get this done before winter sets in and have everything ready for spring planting is my goal.  The garden got out of control over these past years.  Some plants need to be dug up and moved, having grown and spread more than I anticipated.  Areas need to be cleared for the half a dozen more galvanized containers planned, which I'll be putting together (having completed two already I know I can do this).  The rest of the wood chips need to be placed.  I've started ivy removal in earnest (and my hands and wrists can speak to that fact).  Needless to say there are weeks of leaf corralling coming up as well.  I tend to bounce around from task to task, which bothers me a little.  The reason for this though, I think, is because my body intuitively lets me know when certain muscle groups need a break and others can get to work.

So, on top of this I'm taking on the task of priming and painting the new shelving unit I've had built.  I've hemmed and hawed about whether to do this on my own.  Because of the labor involved, the cost to have someone else do this feels like an extravagance.  That being said, I'm slightly intimidated by the project.  A friend, who does painting for a living, says she has confidence in my ability and attention to detail...and has agreed to coach me.  I'm hoping I can get it done in a timely manner, without totally burning myself out.

The reality is that this is all good stuff.  My body hurts a bit more, but I'm sleeping better at night.  I need to do something about the forty five minutes I lay in bed after waking up, with my head going through the list .  I don't get any more rest and I could get an earlier start if I just got up.  But part of the reasons for this are the aches and pains.  Thankfully they're not that bad...but I'm just so tired!  

Eventually, I'll have a better schedule...a healthier routine.  With the breadth of projects in my head, it can be a bit overwhelming.  It's easy to become obsessive.  On the brighter side, though, it gives me purpose and goals.  Art making has taken a back seat, which feels weird.  At the same time, all these other tasks are part of a greater kind of creativity.  The garden is part of my art, both in the creation of it and also because it becomes my muse and subject over the course of the seasons.

 

 

 

 

how to create a new life on your own...

Accept that it may take time...as in years.  To be able to acknowledge your own process is critical.  Find the balance between letting yourself grieve for any loss and being proactive about moving forward.

Take care of your health.  Don't put off getting a good assessment, particularly if you deal with health anxiety.  I put off certain things for a long time, out of fear.  Fortunately, all turned out well, but I could have saved the energy of worry and put it to better use.

Eat well and move your body.  Accept that there are times when neither will be attainable, but both are important to feel well both physically and mentally.  Enjoy your food, take pleasure in cooking and growing some of your own produce if possible.  There's nothing quite like the satisfaction of eating something you've grown.  

Find a good mental health therapist and consider medication if you feel you need it.  There's no shame in either of these as an assist.  I found both necessary.  

If you're starting some place new, see if you can find your special community.  It's important to be active with those in your neighborhood and city, even if the only common ground is concern and care for where you live.  But it's also important to find kindred spirits.  It has taken me many years to just scratch the surface of the latter, and it makes a difference.

Also, if you're starting some place new, be a tourist and note what's special about your new environment.  I've loved getting to know Virginia and the east coast.  I adore the four seasons (although summer can sometimes be tough).

Create, create, create, in whatever way suits you.  Make your home feel like a place that nurtures your spirit.  Enjoy being able to build an ambiance without the concern for what anyone else thinks.  I finally had the option to paint some of my walls red.  I can burn sage and resins as much as I like.  I can watch weird movies and TV, and play music as strange as I like.  More often than not, I can allow my home to be perfectly quiet, with only the sound of the birds in the trees.

There are new things that I discover every day, that help me to continue to build this new life.  There are also times when my sense of longing and loss can come to the surface in profound ways.  But like an old injury that might cause discomfort when conditions are just right, old emotional injuries are the same and simply need time and care to feel better.

 

 

 

 

 

Monday

A number of these apples have been cored, sliced, and are currently drying in the dehydrator.  I haven't had dried apples in quite some time.  For some reason, having these on hand for a snack sounded like a good idea.  What will I do with the rest of the apples?  That remains to be seen!

Apples aren't my favorite fruit, to be honest.  That being said, I don't dislike them. They're reliable and versatile.  They're best in the autumn, especially when purchased right from the orchard.  By the time February rolls around, I get pretty tired of apples and pears and citrus.  Granted, I could probably have whatever I wanted, whenever, but there are a number of reasons why I choose to eat with the seasons.  So, for the next couple months, apples will figure prominently in my daily fruit enjoyment!

 

 

 

apple adventure

My friends and I took a drive out to Albemarle Cider Works today.  It couldn't have been lovelier weather.  We were sort of surprised that fall color didn't even seem to be at peak yet.  It was pretty nonetheless.  I came home with many varieties of apples, some of which I intend to dry for snacks (part of my "no added sugar" intention). 

I took the opportunity to walk around with my cameras because, of course!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday

Took a quick trip up to DC area today. I needed to drop off an art piece for a show that opens next week. Afterward my friend and I went to see this wonderful glass exhibit at the Renwick. Then it was off to lunch, a stop at IKEA and finally on the road home. It was a good day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

to the south

The sun has moved significantly to the south.  It always amazes me how gradual, yet profound that shift is.  Daily changes aren't so noticeable.  But by the week, especially autumn and spring, I can watch it happening.  Pretty soon it'll be getting dark between four and five.  Dinner will be cooked after sunset, with only a small bit of light left in the sky.  I'll be up well before daybreak, turning on lights until the sky brightens. 

It's getting colder too...finally...which pleases me. 

I look forward to a less lonely holiday season this year. 

Things change and then they change again.

 

 

practice hibernation

This is the first day this season that I built an actual fire in the wood stove (as opposed something a bit more ritual).  It's perfect down stairs to just settle in on this chilly, rainy day.  Thankfully, I got out for a walk this morning, up to my polling place.  I was actually smart enough to bring an umbrella, because it started raining on the way home.  Granted, it's not pouring or anything, but I appreciate a cold precipitation for a change.  I consider this a practice hibernation day, tending to tasks in this cozy creative space...paying bills, emptying the poppyseed pods from the summer, and perhaps even getting an art piece ready for its journey up to Alexandria at the end of the week.