I know that for a lot of people and cultures, the time to connect with one's ancestors is around All Soul's Day (November 2). For me, however, I find that the winter holidays offer more of that connection. Perhaps it's because that, while I never knew my grandmothers, the traditions around Christmas (particularly Christmas Eve/Wigilia) were passed down. The foods and the recipes come from my maternal grandmother. I'm sure my paternal grandmother also fixed the same foods, but my dad didn't reminisce so much about this as my mother did.
I carried on those traditions with my own family. Now that I'm far from everyone, it's not quite the same. That being said, I still make many of the same foods, just not in the same quantities nor variety. I like to think back in my lineage to how these foods are part of a long line going backward and, perhaps, forward. Food is such a powerful way to maintain connection.
On the Christmas tree, I also have a few very old ornaments. I don't know that they had anything to do with my babcia, but I do know that they predate me. That being the case, it's possible these family predecessors actually occupied the same space as these decorations. It's fun to think about.
The holidays can be a time of profound loneliness. For many of the years I've spent holidays far from family, I've certainly felt that way. Over time, though, feeling connected despite the distance has become easier.
I'm getting older (duh!) and time seems to be passing faster and faster. Lamenting what I don't have seems a waste of energy. Celebrating what I do have is the way to go.
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