Ever since I can remember, I had a penchant for standing in a spot and envisioning something different. Sometimes, like when I was a kid, I would walk around in our patio and pretend I was in a country store. I would actually move out of the way of the invisible counter or open the unseen icebox (I played a lot by myself).
As I got older, there were daydreams of houses in the country and big gardens (I perused The Mother Earth News with frequency).
In adulthood, the homes I've lived in have always spurred my imagination on how they could be improved. Every single one involved detailed plans. It wasn't unusual for me to get agitated if I came upon a particular aspect of these ideas and it presented a roadblock that perplexed me (and I mean, I'm not an architect or contractor, so of course I couldn't figure everything out). I never saw any of my great plans come to fruition...for a variety of reasons.
Now I live on my own, with limited means, but I'm still conjuring these visions. How can I improve/expand the kitchen? Could I really add on a studio out back? What would it be like to move the dining room by enclosing the screened porch? It amazes me how clearly I can see these things in my mind, even if I don't understand the details. Will any of this ever happen...the chances are slim (and yet...).
But these ideas aren't for nothing. They do have a basis in practicality. I've got many years ahead and need some kind of livelihood to build...community to expand...and I rather love the creative exercise of the blue sky mind set. The envisioning is part of my personal evolution in a way...even if it never materializes.
There have been ways I've manifested some of these spacial reveries. The garden is evidence for that! Standing in the yard, seemingly doing nothing as I walk around, brush leaves off sprouts and inspect swelling buds, I'm seeing future growth. I move my sight into the summer (at this time of year) placing trellises and seeing plants moved into more suitable spaces. And I did have a lovely new cabinet built in the living room which changed the space dramatically...that was a vision I had.
I know I live in my head too much. Over the years I've managed to put myself in action mode, though. I've built things, grown things, created art. I believe the envisioning is just another part of that process.
Comments