On a sort of follow up to yesterday's blog... The older I get, the better I come to understand myself, the clearer it becomes that my best approach to life is accepting that my brain works differently than most. If I have to flit from one thing to another, and all those things actually get done, what difference does it make? If I have to take the time to bring the run amok thoughts to a quiet(er) place by breathing or sipping my tea in a slightly catatonic state for a while, that's ok. If I need to make time for daydreaming and imagining, I know that's part of my creative process (I kind of think this is necessary for any creative person, regardless of how their brain works). If I recognize the combination of an anxious nature and my own special wiring can throw me into a spiral, I can find the tools (and in my case, meds) to help get me to a stable place again.
It can be frustrating and scary at times, particularly living alone. That's why I appreciate my little community(ies) I've been slowly building. They don't necessarily take the place of a partner, but maybe they're better...for me.
The last thing I need to do is judge myself for who I am (and it's honestly often the hardest thing not to do).
So...I have a list of things to get done this week. I use a combination of writing things down and keeping track in my brain. Sometimes I don't need to write, but sometimes it's helpful when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes I see that, "oh, okay, I can handle all this!" Ultimately, I need work with what I've got, in a culture that's not always easy on those of us who's brains work differently. I feel fortunate I can do that.
Home (on the Holga/film)...
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