I had a session with my counselor today. I noted how my life feels pretty stable right now. It's not that there aren't concerns and lots to work on. It's just that, my emotional state is at an even keel. Part of that is probably due to having some pharmaceutical assistance. But more than that, it's been the opportunity to discover the best ways for me to live my life and know what's important, that have grounded me.
It was on Valentine's day over a decade ago, that I first knew my life was going to drastically change. I knew that a different and solitary way of being was on the horizon. For many years I struggled with this, wanted my old life back, felt like I really needed a partner. But now...nope, not really. I've grown accustom to living alone, but at the same time I've built deep friendships and community. And now, I'm grateful for the upheaval that led to this, because I feel like I've had the chance to uncover and move into my authenticity (which is a work in progress, till the day I die).
So, I don't begrudge anyone their romance on this day. I'm not envious, I'm glad for anyone who has this in their life. Valentine's day has never been exclusively about romance in my mind anyway. It has always felt primarily like a day to celebrate friendships and familial love. And with that in mind, I wish you all, dear friends, a happy and loving and Valentine's day!
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