The Third Act

it's always something

At 66 years old, I'm more used to it than when younger.  Stuff happens, I deal with it.  Stuff  I'm  not used to happens and that actually becomes more normal.  Still, it can be exhausting.  The stoic, amused facade I put on doesn't always feel sustainable.  I feel the ground shifting beneath my feet and it's not as easy as before to keep my balance.  But then again, getting adequate sleep might help!

The water to my house is currently flowing again, albeit low pressure.  It felt good to take a shower this morning and have confidence in the toilet flushing as it's designed to.  I think about so many other things going on in the world...what I have to deal with is small change.  I do make the effort to keep a balanced perspective.  A naturally anxious and slightly neurodivergent brain can make it tricky, though.  A lot of self compassion is usually in order (rather than "why can't I be like other people??").

It's another cold, sunshiny day.  The snowy, icy covering on surfaces still clings.  Temperatures seem to be hovering around the freezing mark.  It's rather beautiful out.

 

 

 

 

 

isn't life interesting?!

The winter storm that went through overnight Sunday and then circled back for a bit yesterday evening, has passed.  It's a gorgeous winter wonderland outside and almost makes me giddy in its beauty.  Sure, it isn't several inches of snow, but there's good coverage and it sparkles in the morning sunshine just the same.  It would seem we came away unscathed as power stayed on.  However....however!!

It turns out the power did not stay on completely at the city's water distribution/treatment site!  Well, as it's said in popular jargon, I did not have being without water in the first week of 2025 on my bingo card!  The text messages from neighbors started going around about mid afternoon on Monday, reporting complete water outage in some parts of the city.  It was going to be an event for all of us who live within this municipality.  I followed the advice to fill my tub.  I also boiled a few gallons of water for consuming and teeth brushing.  What a curious thing to experience.  It does cause me to reflect on how soft I have become!

My first response was that sort of out of body, triggered, panic experience.  It wasn't pronounced by it it was there.  As time progressed I managed to ease myself out of that.  I did whatever I could do to deal with the situation.  I thought up strategies with long range scenarios.  Sure...I overthought it all!  But the point is, and this comes from someone who has dealt with significant anxiety disorder, I'm doing okay.  And okay is actually pretty good...for me.

Yep, life is interesting.

 

 

 

 

snow day

After 1000 days (according to local weather folk) we have ended our snow drought.  Granted, it's not a lot...maybe 3 inches...also compacted by sleet and freezing rain.  But it's cold and it's some good coverage, so I won't complain.  The freezing rain is unnerving, though, and brought down a couple large pine boughs.  Thankfully nothing was damaged, although I did move my car out of that territory just to be cautious.

Looking at the longer range forecast for January, it appears we will be staying cold for a couple weeks.  There hasn't been that long a stretch of cold for a couple years.  Sure, at times the temps would plummet, but they'd rebound in a day or two.  I'm grateful for the winter chill, for the plants that need it and also to kill off pests (maybe?).

Today is indoors, with the wood stove firing, laundry in the dryer, sourdough bread proofing and shelves (new ones downstairs) waiting to be filled in an organized way (so I can have effective work space again).

I have to admit to feeling a little off today.  I'm not sure why that is.  Perhaps it's the finality of the holiday celebrations, which include my birthday.  Although, I can't say I was that invested in frivolity this season, aside from my trip to California.  But therein, I do miss family again.  Well, I always miss them, but it's a more profound experience after having spent time with them again.

This too shall pass.

A couple Instax from this morning...

 

 

 

66 years

But I don't feel a day over 30...in my head.  My knees and back and hands and feet might beg to differ.  I'm grateful, though.  I'm relatively healthy, relatively safe and secure.  I have family I talk to regularly (and like), I have marvelous offspring who amaze me, I have friends who truly seem to like me.  I have interest in life and in my various projects.  I maintain a cautious optimism in general, despite the craziness of the world and perhaps some existential angst.

It's cold today...and I like that.  There's at least a possibility of winter precipitation, which is more than the past couple years.  I'm glad the garden is getting a good chill.  It actually feels like the designated season.

So, here I am...taken yesterday but close enough to my actual birthday.  Still trying to make the weekly Instax self portraits.  One of these days I'll put them in an album on my Flickr.

 

time flies

It was a week ago today I took this pinhole.  It was 33 years ago today I had my second baby, my son Julian.  Oof.  Where did all that time go??

 

 

support the blog

new year intentions

I don't really do resolutions.  There's such an absolutist vibe to that.  But intentions...I like intentions (despite the old saying about the "path to hell..." and all).

This year...I want to get better at my technical grasp with film.  I've gotten a bit shoddy.  I'd like to do better, because better in those first stages (shooting and processing) means more options for creating the final work, whichever  method is used.  

I want to make more art of all kinds.  I want to really invest more in the garden (last year I was gearing myself up for the Poland trip in May, which was awesome, so my energies were scattered).  I want to investigate what it would take to get chickens.  I want to make headway into creating a viable livelihood, probably combining tactics.  I want to get stronger and healthier...and sleep better!  I want to continue on my inner work and mental health care.  The list is actually...pretty long!

Wishing you all a very happy and peaceful 2025

Below are some Zero pinhole images I took on my trip to California for the holiday.  I made the mistake of showing someone this camera when it was empty and wasn't aware how I'd replaced the baffles for the framing.  I was shooting for 6 x 6 but the baffles were more like 6 x 7.5.  Anyway, there were a LOT of overlapped frames.  You know me, generally I like overlapped frames and multi exposures...when I do that intentionally!  But this...hmmm...not so much.  Still there are a few that are interesting...some cropped down and some containing the overlapped frames.

 

 

Midway airport, decorated for Christmas

 

Midway airport, decorated for Christmas

 

Looking outside the airport through a dirty window.

fast away the old year passes

We're here, once again.  Seems to arrive more quickly all the time!

May you hold many sweet memories from the past year and may much sweetness come to you in the new.

 

 

Home sweet home

I've been making these self portraits on Fridays.  But...I wasn't home on Friday and I didn't take my Lomo instant camera with me.  So...the soonest I could make this was Sunday.  And I was feeling too lazy (after getting home at about 2:30 am that morning) to go to the set up I've been using.  So...yeah.

It's always a little poignant for me to leave family again, after being in California.  But equally, I really look forward to be back home.  This time of year, especially, I want to prepare my thoughts and heart for the new year.  Despite how bleak the world can feel, I still maintain an optimism about all the things I want to do in the coming 2025.

I hope you've all have a peaceful holiday season, and wish you a Happy New Year!

 

 

Happy Holidays!

Wishing you all a lovely holiday week! I’m out of town, and with family for the holiday (for the first time since before the pandemic). We’ve been with each other at times, but not for the holiday so this is special and I’m grateful.

I only have film cameras with me so more interesting (imo) images won’t be happening until after I’m back home. In the meantime here are some photos from my phone of the adventure so far…

 

 

 

 

Yule eve